


Always

by hwantomibbang



Category: Daniel - Fandom, OngNiel - Fandom, Peaches - Fandom, Wanna One, Wannable, scientist - Fandom, seongwoo - Fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-08
Updated: 2018-07-08
Packaged: 2019-06-07 03:58:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15210428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hwantomibbang/pseuds/hwantomibbang





	Always

It was a fine December afternoon, I decided to go out with Jaehwan. “Waaah! Daniel! You had bought a lot of stuffs! What are these for?”

“Christmas presents? duh? Christmas is coming.”

“So I have a gift here too?”

“I haven’t bought yours, I’ll buy it separately”

He showed a sour face when he heard my reply. I just laughed at him. I was showing him the different paper bags that I am holding and says the names of who owns those. When suddenly, we saw him. I saw him.

“Oh! Isn’t that Seongwoo?” Jaehwan innocently called Seongwoo’s name. I just shook my head as if it was nothing. As if I was feeling fine on the inside. “Ahhh! I am so hungry! Let’s buy some fries at McDonald’s!”

“Yah! Seongwoo!” Jaehwan continued to shout while I continued to drag him away from that guy. Once we have settled at the fast food chain. Jaehwan started talking non stop again. “Anyway, why didn’t Seongwoo looked at us? You two are really close. Why did he ignored us?”

I dipped my fries on the ketchup. Trying to stop my hands from trembling. His name still has this effect on me. Why am I scared of him? When I was the one who placed our relationship into this mess. “Maybe he was busy? Who knows? He is the bread winner of their family.” I shrugged my shoulders pretending everything was fine when it’s really not. Inside I was crumbling. Too many questions left unanswered. Too many words had been said. Too many things had been done. Even if I wanted to take myself back to that time, I can’t. “Ahh! You are right! Anyway, Minhyun seems to be enjoying his new job”

“Really? What’s his new job? A maid at a cafe?” We both laughed at the joke that I said. Minhyun loves cleaning, so I am assuming his new job is related to cleaning. I mentally thanked Jaehwan for changing the topic and for being sensitive enough to divert our conversation.

I went home to my empty house. A dirty, unorganized, smelly house welcomed me. “Ah! I should invite Minhyun here. He will happily clean up my mess” Tired from strolling and wandering around the mall, I threw myself on my couch. “Ahhh! This is nice.” I tried to remember the things that I bought today. I already bought my gift for Kuanlin, it’s a tshirt from Supreme. I bought Jisung Hyung that giraffe keyring he wanted to put on his phone. I bought Minhyun the newest vaccum model, hope he’ll be happy with that. What did I got for Jihoon? Ah! I bought him the new released games. I can’t wait to play those with him. I squinted my eyes when I saw an Innisfree paper bag. For whom did I bought that one? “Ahhh! It was Jaehwan’s suggestion for Sungwoon hyung’s gift” I nodded my head once I remembered. I bought a thing that producers use? was it mixer? I am not surr but it is for Daehwi. I bought an instax for Jinyoung, I am not sure if he will like this though. For Woojin, I went to Niké to buy him a matching track suit and shoes.

I stood up and went to the fridge. I looked inside it for my beer. I got two cans. I opened one and went back to the living room. A small paper bag has caught my eye. I swiftly snatched it and sat on the couch. Putting my beers on the table. I inspected it. I remembered purchasing it but I can’t remember why I ended up buying it. It is a book. I don’t even read books, why would I buy one? When I read the title, I suddenly realized why I purchased it. I shook my head and laughed at myself. I drank my beer in on shot. “How are you even gonna give this to Seongwoo? Who are you even fooling?”

Who would have thought that the two people who called each other their everything became strangers in a blink of an eye. When I first knew Seongwoo, everything just clicked. The things he likes are also the things I like. And we share a lot of things in common. He was also the person to whom I had shared all of my fears. He knows my darkest shadows while he shared his also. Without any words, we know how the other one feels. I’ve met my soulmate in Seongwoo. But that isn’t the case anymore.

I was scared that he will leave me and grew tired of me once I tell him about my depression. But instead, O was the one who pushed him away and shut my doors and windows to him. From two people who cherished each other, we became nothing because of my foolishness. I said hateful words towards Seongwoo. Words that will tarnish his feelings. That will tattoo scars inside him. Without thinking of what he would feel, I unleashed the monster inside me. If only I could go back in time, I’ll erase that moment and say kind words towards him.

I felt my eyes started getting wet. I am having another breakdown. The meds never helped me. They just calmed me and helps me sleep at night. But the meds never helped in making me feel any better. When Seongwoo and I became strangers again, Jaehwan became my shoulder. I texted Jaehwan and told him about my break down. And told him to help me admit myself at the hospital.

“This is the 7th time this month? Right?” I nodded to Jaehwan. I had been going back and forth in this hospital. They gave me therapy sessions but nothing has been working. “Should we transfer you to a new doctor?” Jaehwan asked me. I shook my head. “But your breakdowns had been really frequent.”

“For a bulb to be changed, the bulb must be willing to change.” I bit my lower lip. Tears started to fall. “I am not willing to be cured, Jaehwan. I just feel like dying. I am just waiting for the thunder to struck me and kill me in an instant”

Jaehwan became quiet and started rubbing my back. I could feel that Jaehwan is overwhelmed with what I stated. I felt sorry towards Jaehwan, he had been my shock absorber.

We heard a knock on the door. A tall guy wearing a white coat entered. His hair is as black as his eyes. His face is so refined that you will think he was an art. I saw the shock in his eyes when he saw me on the bed. The bed of the hospital. I had been a regular here but it’s the first time that I saw him here.

“Kang Daniel-ssi” He laughed. This is his way to shake the awkwardness. “Uhhm? Mr. Kim Jaehwan, I need to talk with the patient alone.” He told Jaehwan. Jaehwan hurriedly went out.

“Daniel...” He was looking at his chart. My chart. It contains all of my information and everything he needs to know. “I’m sorry.” I blurted out. “I’m sorry” I keep on repeating. “sshhh” He hushed me. “It wasn’t your fault” I continued to cry. Seongwoo hugged me tightly. “You should have told me.” He said calmly. “I’m always here to help.” He broke our hug and held my hands tightly. “We might have an ugly break up” He laughed at the word break up. “But please, know that I am always here for you. Our friendship will never die.” His hold on my hands became tighter. Making me feel that he is scared of losing me agin. Of losing this precious thing we have shared. “I can’t be your doctor, you know that, I am just here to check. But please, Daniel, Let’s help each other okay?”

Jaehwan had always told me that this battle I have isn’t mine alone but it is a battle that he will help me fight with. He meant good but I am scared of everything. Maybe, because a part of me was missing. But when I heard it from Seongwoo, I wanted to help myself become better.

“You know that I’ll always be with you, Daniel.” He hugged me again. As he wipped my tears away, it felt as if all of my problems were wipped away. “Don’t forget that. I’ll always love you”


End file.
